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Lunar Alpha Musings

Created on 2005-10-01 15:34:00 (#8431770), last updated 2008-03-25

466 comments received, 2,787 comments posted

Basic Info
Name:Remus J. Lupin
Birthdate:1960-03-10
Location:United Kingdom
Website:Player's Journal
Bio
DISCLAIMERS: This is a character journal for the Fiery Inception RPG, a role playing game based on the world of Harry Potter, created by JK Rowling. The character of Remus Lupin belongs to JKR--we are just taking them out to play. No copyright infringement is intended. No money is being made. This is for personal entertainment purposes only. All original characters are the property of their owners and creators. Sean Bean belongs to himself and whatever lucky woman grabs him first.

This is a work of fiction written by an adult about an adult character. There may occasionally be content posted to this journal which is inappropriate for younger readers/viewers. Any such material shall be clearly labeled with a rating of R or NC-17 and most will contain appropriate warnings as to the nature of potentially offensive material. It is the reader's responsibility to abide by these warnings and to refrain from viewing such material as may be deemed inappropriate for their age in the country of their origin.

Opinions expressed within are the character's opinions, NOT my own, and I should no more be held responsible for those statements than actors in movies should be held accountable for the characters they portray.

For more information or to join the game please check out [info]fiery_inception.

Friending Policy: If you would like to friend this account to keep track of game posts, please feel free. For my own sanity, however, I willonly friend back those character journals which are a part of the game.

The Basics

Character Name: Remus J. Lupin
PB: Sean Bean

Age: 40
Birthday: March 10, 1960
Wand: Oak and Dragon-heartstring
House in School: Gryffindor
Bloodline: Half-Blood - his father was a wizard, his Mum a Muggle

Political View: Remus has been a member of the Order through both wars. Unlike Fenrir's pack, he knows Voldemort would only use the curse which plagues him as a weapon against the wizarding world. Remus has fought against the dark desires of his curse his entire life. Instead, Albus Dumbledore's Order gave him a chance to not only work against such an eventuality, but also gave him a place to truly belong. Now that Voldemort is dead and the war is over, he has become focused upon seeing that the promises he made to the werewolves on Dumbledore's behalf come true -- a difficult proposition in a political climate which would ostracize even a 'war hero' if he is werewolf.

Appearance

Height: 6'1" / 1.85m
Weight: 145lbs / 65.77kgs
Eyes: Soft Brown
Hair: Golden-Brown with streaks of grey
Build: slim but powerful, well-toned
Dress Style: Classic, Conservative, Casual, Neat

Basic Physical Description: Remus is a slim, often shabby looking, but well-toned man of slightly more than average height. His golden-brown hair is streaked with grey, hanging in shaggy locks just brushing his shoulders. The soft brown eyes through which he views the world are where one sees the toll his life, losses, and curse have left upon him, the shadows which never quite fade even when he smiles. He remains clean-shaven, as well, in an effort to distance his appearance from that of 'the wolf'. Although, that is not always possible living with werewolves during war times.

Defining Marks: There are angry bite marks running in a circle just above his left collar-bone and around over his shoulder. This is THE bite, the one which forever changed the world as he knew it. Eight long scars running horizontally along the left side are also from that initial attack. A fine network of faded scars criss-crossing arms and torso are a constant reminder of his past transformations without the benefit of the Wolfsbane potion and the self-mutilation which resulted. Lastly, an odd, almost boomerang shaped burn mark remains a violent red at the base of his throat where left collarbone meets right is a permanent memento of his last and final meeting with Peter Pettigrew.

Personality

Remus is gentle and mild mannered as a general rule, which may lead others to think him a push-over. He is not. Anyone who has endangered those he loves and cares for will find that out swiftly and painfully. Loyalty and fidelity run strongly in him. But, he has a deep-seated desire to be liked, a by-product of his curse, and it is this which caused so much strife in trying to get along at school. Intelligent and quick-witted, he is still working on confidence and self-acceptance. After a lifetime of hiding and pretending, it is difficult for him to except that the friendship of his schoolmates was not a fluke and though they are gone, others still care about what happens to him. After all, war veteran or not, he is still a werewolf and will tend to push others away from himself for their own good. And of course, he has never lost that hint of mischief which made him a Marauder in the first place.

Most of Remus' personal habits, conscious and unconscious, relate directly to how he handles the effects of his curse. He will conceal his deeper intense emotions to feel 'in control'. Often the only outward showing of this will be the carefulness with which he keep his hands clenched in his pockets in an attempt to 'restrain himself'. His self-conscious nervousness tends to reveal itself in an unconscious hand running through his hair.

His monthly transformations have not escaped the realm of habit either. A set pre-transformation ritual, including sequestering himself for an hour before with a cup of tea, and post-transformation ritual, including wrapping his tormented body into the same warm throw his mother made for him as a child going through his first moons, help him to keep 'the wolf' and 'the man' separate in his own mind.

And his mind is something of value to him. His mother instilled in him a love of books and learning early in his life, when books were his only playmates and many animals even shied away from him. Reason and logic represent his humanity in his self-view. During the period of time in Remus’ younger days when he found even his own body and physical senses were dependent upon the cycles of the moon beyond simply monthly transformations, the ability to focus his mind and process the increases in sensory input logically helped him to stay sane in so many ways. Even the simple escapism of reading a work of fiction allowed him to feel more in control of transitory nature of his own being.

Psychology

Extrovert/Introvert: Mostly, Remus is an extrovert with learned introverted tendencies. By nature, he is a warm and friendly man given to laughter and the enjoyment of being in the company of good friends. By necessity he has learned to keep himself held in except when around the very rare few individuals he could trust and felt safe enough to let his guard down near – James, Sirius, Peter, Lily, to varying degrees Harry, Severus, Tonks. After so many years of strife, his solitary habits have become more of a balm to his spirit than they were when he was younger.
Boggart Would Be: Remus' boggart is the full moon. This has never changed. The moon represents the curse which guides his life and which is his biggest fear - spreading that curse to another.
Patronus Would Be: Until the last year of the war, Remus' Patronus was nothing more than an indistinct silver mist. Towards the end of the war, however, it finally solidified -- much to his surprise, into the form of a natural wolf. The war has given him a chance to DO something about the injustices visited upon werewolves and the wizarding world in general. The natural wolf symbolizes the good to which he has put some of the side effects of his condition. Lycanthropy is such an integral part of his existence, even he has to admit it would be even more surprising for his Patronus to take a form NOT related to being a werewolf.

Sexuality

Remus thinks he's probably straight. It is not that he has never been attracted to men, more that, with men or women, he has simply refused to consciously acknowledge the existence of any attraction for the futility of it. Yet, the only times he has ever been convinced to give a relationship a shot, it has been as a result of very persuasive women. Though not what one could call experienced, nevertheless, he is not a virgin. What few sexual encounters he had as a young man were with nice young women who never knew what he was. All such encounters were fleeting and ended before revealing the truth of his condition became an issue. Mostly, because he realized he was more in love with the idea of having someone, anyone, than having the specific person involved. Still, it is difficult for Remus to fight the attraction of a highly intelligent, caring individual, particularly one who is also playful and accepting.


Is Love... bar by [info]midnight_writer. Please do not snag.
Lifestyle

Occupation: Remus has been many things in his lifetime – a professor, a tutor, a handy man, a bookseller, a companion, a warrior, a philosopher. During the war he has not worked often, if at all. His focus was on the ‘prize’ and friends in the Order would see he was taken care of whenever he was able to emerge from the werewolf packs in which he had almost literally buried himself.
Residence: The last three years have been spent mostly underground or in the wild with various werewolf packs with a few brief stays at Order holdings or with Harry and his friends, none of which were ever for more than three or four days with long periods of time between. Now that the war is over, he is unsure of where he can go and is considering remaining with his own small ‘pack’ of werewolves who have joined him in support of Albus and Harry.
Financial Status: Is there something worse off than nothing? He manages. During the last years of the war he has come to recognize and accept some support from the few true friends he has in the Order. But for the most part he survives as others of his kid have – by the skin of his teeth.

Family

Parents: David Rhys Lupin and Elizabeth Rose Lewis
Siblings: none
Other: John Stephan Lewis, grandfather (deceased)

In a time when being infected with lycanthropy was practically a death sentence, nothing could have been more devastating to a parent than for their child to be bitten. Moreso if that child was bitten in retribution for the actions of the parents.

David Lupin was a prominent Potions Master in Wales. He had a loving wife and young son, a thriving practice, a nice house in the country. He only ever made two mistakes – marrying a muggle woman, still very much frowned upon for even lesser purebloods like David who could only count back in his bloodline for five generations, and refusing to provide a man named Fenrir Greyback with a rare and deadly poison. The latter would turn out to be the biggest mistake of his life. The full moon was only a few days away, a full moon which would change his family’s life forever.

After Remus was bitten, David closed his practice and moved his family to the far north of Scotland where the land was wild and still largely uninhabited. They sacrificed the comfort of their previous life to prevent the Ministry sending their son to an institution, or worse. David set about trying to find a cure for his child, while Elizabeth returned to the seamstress work she’d done before her marriage in order to support them. David was not able to find a cure, but there are some who would say his work was instrumental in the early stages of research for those who would later be responsible for creating the Wolfsbane potion.

As soon as the letter from Hogwarts arrived, David made a solitary trip to the school. Remus had been home-schooled, given instructions from infrequent tutors as well as his parents. David and Elizabeth had known no other way to protect both their son and the other children who would have attended the same school.

But, the idea of attending wizarding school had lit a fire in the boy who had inherited his mother's strong desires for knowledge and quick mind. David was unsure if this was some cruel joke, or if this relatively new Headmaster, this Dumbledore, truly had no idea of Remus' condition. Surely the great Hogwarts' book would have erased Remus' name as soon as the boy was bitten?

That interview was unlike anything David had expected. With patience and compassion, Professor Dumbledore had explained that he saw no reason why, with precautions, Remus Lupin should not be allowed to attend school just as any other wizarding child. The Hogwarts' book of names, it turned out was without prejudice or judgment. Any wizarding child listed at birth was eligible. The obstacle was getting parents in David and Elizabeth's position to believe in their children enough to allow for the possibility of training them to live a normal life.

After a second meeting with the headmaster, this time with Elizabeth and Remus both in attendance as well, provisions were made and Remus John Lupin was sent off to school with all the others his age when the Hogwarts' Express left the station on September First.

History from student days at Hogwarts to the present time

Remus inherited enough of his father's cautionary aire to keep most of his fellow students at a friendly distance once he went to school. David had set his son down the night before sending him off and explained to him how people with his condition were treated in the Wizarding World. Unwilling to risk the judgment of his new classmates, Remus remained quiet and slightly apart, despite his friendly and open appearances.

But he had not counted on James Potter and Sirius Black, his new dormmates, who not only discovered his secret but also did not shun him for it. Instead, they drew him, along with little Peter Pettigrew, even further into the circle of friendship they were building inside their dorm. And then… and then!! They made the ultimate gesture of friendship. The three boys who had brought Remus into their world and out of his shell became, themselves, illegal animagi to aid him in his monthly suffering. There had never been such friends!

Had it not been for his own stubborn insistence to view Sirius' ill-conceived prank on Severus Snape as a personal betrayal, Remus still tells himself things might have been different.

Shortly after leaving school, Remus became involved in the fight against Voldemort and with Albus Dumbledore's Order. The Headmaster believed Remus could put his condition and education to best use by reaching out to others like himself. It was widely known Voldemort sought to gain support of the werewolf population. With the Ministry taking such an anti-lycanthrope stance, it would require very few promises to bring the disenfranchised werewolves to Voldemort's side. This was the beginning of Remus' lifelong efforts to help others in his position find their place in a wizarding world which considered them little more than possessed animals.

Remus himself had heard the promises...and they were indeed tempting, but his upbringing held true, much to his later sorrow.

A well-educated werewolf, one who went to school with ‘normal’ wizards and was now actively working for Dumbledore, was a danger to the Enemy’s plans to bring the werewolf population to heel. In an attempt to warn Remus away from his task, a death eater hit squad was sent to his parent’s home. By the time Remus and the Order arrived, the Dark Mark flew above the small house and his parents’ bodies lay where they had fallen in the kitchen.

But Remus John Lupin did not fold as easily as Voldemort had hoped. Instead, he worked harder to gain acceptance amoung the wolf ‘packs’ loyal to Voldemort, to convince them his attitudes were shifting. Then, from within, he could slowly begin to sway the others. In doing so, he finally came face to face once more with the wolf who had turned him.

As Remus spent more and more time undercover with the werewolves, he had less to spend with his friends. A fact which no doubt helped along Sirius' suspicions that Remus himself was the spy and not the unassuming Wormtail. But, Remus will never know the truth of that matter now.

The death of James and Lily, followed so closely by Sirius' betrayal and murder of Peter, sent Remus into a deep depression. In the span of two days he lost everything and everyone left who mattered. Friends in the Order tried to help him, but to no avail. He withdrew from the world, pessimistically unsurprised to find nothing had changed in the Ministry's attitudes towards his condition. Shunned and alone, he attempted to assist Dumbledore in the clean-up and apprehension of Voldemort's supporters. But after the attack on Frank and Alice Longbottom, so similar to the one which had cost him his 'family', Remus withdrew from everything.

He spent the intervening years wandering Europe, taking odd jobs to support himself as need be and retreating to the wilds for his monthly transformations. Occasionally he would seek out one of the local ‘packs’ and stay with them for a short time. But inevitably, he would wander off on his own again rather than grow to attached to any living being. He’d already lost so much. He wouldn’t’ take that risk again.

Then, Albus Dumbledore sought him out once more. He asked Remus to take up the Defense post at Hogwarts and Remus fairly laughed in his face, almost as lost to himself as Sirius would later become trapped in his family's home. Still, in deference to the Headmaster's past kindness and protection, he listened. Albus told him Sirius had escaped Azkaban and James' son was now in his third year at school. This would be the first time Remus heard of the prophecy and he began to share Albus' sense of wariness, tinged with a not inconsiderable desire to avenge his own dead friends. It was the persuasion needed to bring him back to the wizarding world which had shunned him and give him new purpose.

Protect James' son.

The events which followed, are of course, history now. Peter was unmasked. Sirius nearly killed and sent into further exile. The world once more at war.

In the process, Remus was given the chance to truly get to know one Harry James Potter. Harry was…remarkable. Orphaned at so young an age, mistreated by those charged with his care, sought by one of the darkest wizards in history. Remus rather thought Harry handled it remarkably well. He couldn’t help but be reminded of James and Lily whenever he looked at the boy. But, he could also see the young man for who he was separate from his parents influence and Remus’ affection for Harry grew over the next three years.

After Sirius’ death Remus fought the desire to retreat from the world once again. Only two things stopped him – the knowledge that Harry needed him and Albus’ request that he attempt to infiltrate the werewolf encampments once more.

This time there was a complication in the form of one Nymphadora Tonks, Sirius’ young cousin. During the months leading up to Sirius’ death he had done his best to ignore his attraction to the vibrant young woman, attempting to treat her as the kid sister Sirius’ did. After Sirius’ death he found himself craving the feeling of being alive he felt in her company. It was definitely time for him to put some distance between them.

Remus spent much of the next year underground…almost literally. His work amoung the werewolves was slow. Many of them had survived the first war only barely and suffered the Ministry’s injustices through the intervening years without the support system Remus had been given. The power and freedom offered by Voldemort’s supporters was a tempting bait Remus and Albus simply couldn’t match.

Then, the world turned on it’s axis with the death of Albus Dumbledore at the hands of Severus Snape.

Severus killed Albus!

Remus could hardly believe it. All this time he had defended Severus’ place in the Order. Albus had trusted the man. Remus had trusted the man. The thought such trust was misplaced rocked him to his own foundations. Coupled with grief at losing the one person he had always thought would be there to lead them, to protect and support them…it was a difficult burden to bear.

Once more, Remus rallied himself to assist Harry in whatever ways he could. Miraculously, that help came in the form of Severus Snape. Though initially skeptical of the information provided to him by Aberforth, Remus was eventually swayed towards belief in his onetime classmate’s good faith. Perhaps it was his own need to hold on to his trust. Or, perhaps it was some lingering bond from the days when he had tried to befriend the dark boy Severus had once been. In any event, Remus found himself trusting the man once more, which allowed him to pass information Severus gathered on to Harry and the Order to assist in the war.

Remus’ own personal victory came a year later, when he faced Peter Pettigrew for the final time during the attack on Hogsmeade. The rat who had betrayed their best friends made an attempt to face down the angry werewolf, hiding behind the silver hand which had been his reward for betraying Harry at the Tri-Wizard Tournament. But, while Remus will bear the scar of that hand for the rest of his life, at the end of their private battle it was Peter who lay dead on the ground.

Sirius, James, and Lily had been avenged. Remus would seldom discuss it thereafter.

And now, the war is over. Voldemort is dead. Harry celebrated as the hero who saved the Wizarding World.

It is time for Remus to find out if there is truly a life out there for himself. The small group of werewolves who he managed to persuade to join the cause against Voldemort will now look to him for proof they made the right choice in following him. Harry will need his support as they all deal with the emotional aftermath of the war. Remus was one of the first to rush to Harry’s side when he emerged from the castle and intends to remain there during the reconstruction which must follow upon the heels of war. He has seen little of Tonks during the war between his work and hers. That work shows little signs of abating. Is this the time to investigate the possibilities of a true relationship? Or will he find those emotions were only a result of the turbulent feelings of grief and war?

And there is Severus. Remus knows the truth of the man’s loyalties. While the sting of betrayal and loss will always linger, he no longer has the will to keep fighting his ally over grievances older than the young man who they have both sacrificed so much to protect. Then again, he knows the truth. The wizarding world does not.

The war has been a long and difficult road. Now, Remus fears it will only get harder.

Players Info

Name/Nickname: JL
Yahoo IM: wolfsnymph (preferred)
AIM: m4moony
Email: wolfsnymph (at) sbcglobal (dot) net



Lupin_Snape Mood Theme by the artists of [info]lupin_snape. Full credits listed here.
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